April 2008
“It was only a matter of time before someone said those famous words, “You should...”
– Just a shameless plug for Cool Beans Dip, an all-natural, low-fat, Kosher, gluten/allergen/preservatives/cholesterol/trans and saturated fat-free white bean dip that was created by my wonderful friend Matt (aka “The Little Guy”) and his brother one snowy day in Scarborough, NY. It comes...
Pulitzer Prize-winner Buzz Bissinger curses... →
cajunboy: Buzz (famously known as the man who wrote Friday Night Lights) pretty much exemplified every possible trait that other the other ungracefully dying dinosaurs have shown that have come before him. Good God. I just watched this video, and had to actively work to fight the rising rage that it caused. I loved Friday Night Lights and I think Buzz Bissinger is a great writer, but man - what...
This is what my bosses think my value-add is. And...
Boss #1: Hey Katie?
Me (not paying attention as usual): ...
Boss #1: KATIE!!!!!
Me (pausing the YouTube I was watching): Yes?
Boss #1: PC versus Mac commercial. Who's Mac dating?
Me (instantaneously, almost robotically): DREW BARRYMORE
Boss #1 (snapping fingers, turning to Boss #2 triumphantly): Yes! See?
Boss #2: Ohh. I thought you meant that PC was dating Cameron Diaz!
Nutsacks and johnsons and cracks, oh my!
In my strange little mind’s eye, I always imagine Slate’s Jack Shafer to be this industriously old-school reporter sitting in a smoke-filled room somewhere and clutching a rotary phone into which he hollers things like “Give me Nelson!” Honestly, I have no basis for this assumption, but it is so firmly-held that I can’t even bear to Google Image him because I fear it...
Yummy Sammys. →
“She hit it over the fence,” Holtman said Tuesday. “She deserved it. Anybody...”
– George Vescey’s column about a remarkable act of sportsmanship seriously has me sitting here with my lip trembling and tears threatening to spill down my cheeks. No sarcasm here, just go read it.
The CFA is just like a college tailgate, except...
Darling William sends an inspirational email: Don’t be silly, Bakes. If the CFA is like the H-Y game, then the difference between last year and this year will be like the difference in your tailgating plan between your freshman and junior years. Frosh year you overshot, wasting too much energy during the day because you weren’t sure how to parcel it out and you didn’t know...
Unhealthy Practices That Won't Kill You →
Jolie links to this Esquire article, which is just about the greatest thing ever. Sample advice from a real live doctor (who I need to get as my own, clearly): Drinking Every Night One to two is fine — encouraged, actually. And while red wine is slightly better for your health than other libations, as long as you are getting a shot or two of your favorite alcohol daily, you’re doing...
Honey, it's not your dress that makes your hips...
How do you appease self-critical brides? If you’re a blinker, don’t worry; we shoot enough to edit those out. A double chin isn’t visible if the camera angle isn’t low, and if you have big hips, turn a bit sideways. But don’t make my life harder by getting a dress that accentuates them. I’m liking this photographer.
“Oh, shit, this is the door that opens at the next stop. I’m gonna get...”
– The internal monologue of That Guy on the subway.
Come on … you know you want to click,...
Blakeley goes to an "absinthe tasting" and lives...
Blakeley: My mouth feels numb, but I know that it's not numb!
Blakeley: Like right now I would steal a car to get home, but I'd be able to drive it perfectly!
Blakeley: I'm not drunk at all, I'm completely OK, but I'm forgetting the words to stuff!
Blakeley: I don't even know how I sound, but I know it's not normal!
Might Andrew Ross Sorkin be considered for a top... →
A little from Column A, a dash from Column B ...
justsayjolie: Has anyone ever… Mixed bourbon & champagne together? Would that be a good thing to try, do you think? I’m sure I have, but it was probably at 4am in a basement somewhere. Or more recently, 8pm in my apartment apres-happy hour (but usually when I do that, I just substitute the champagne for more bourbon.) Sounds good, though! Make me a glass.
Also, I'm way more creeped out by the one of her...
Is it bad that it would be impossible for me to care less about the Miley Cyrus photo? Seriously, is it? Am I going to make a bad mother someday or something? I’ve been trying to get roused up about it all day so I can join the angry hordes, but the best I can come up with is that the picture is just kind of not-that-flattering.
Homeless people "may be seen on the street wearing...
After the Super Bowl, an inquiring nation learned what happened to all of those obsolete “19-0 PERFECT SEASON” t-shirts (suck it, New England!): they were sent to people living in poor nations around the world. Warms the heart. But what of all those RUDY 08 hats and GO FOR JOE* bumper stickers? Mr. Shirey tried to sell [the 25,000 leftover Kucinich t-shirts] to a car wash and...
Breaking celebrity sighting OMG
Nikki emails: Now that you have a blog, should I be e-mailing you celeb sightings instead of gawker? “As D and I crossed the street yesterday, saw haley joel osmand from the sixth sense. He and a friend were giggling at the same man with a cat on his head (no joke) that we were.” This is pretty much what my friends think my blog is for. And they’re probably not wrong!
The anatomy of a blog post. →
“If we’ve learned any new rule in the 2008 campaign, it’s this: Once our news...”
– Amen, Brotha Rich. And in another NYT op-ed, Elizabeth Edwards is similarly stricken by the role of the media:Who is responsible for the veil of silence over Senator Biden? Or Senator Dodd? Or Gov. Tom Vilsack? Or Senator Sam Brownback on the Republican side?The decision was probably made by the...
“Am I desperately trying to hold onto my youth?” He grabbed Ben’s arm. “Honey, am...”
– Benjamin shook his head. “You can’t be a gay cliché when you get married to a man at 22.” There’s a long-ass cover article in this week’s NYT magazine about gays marrying young. The couples profiled in the piece - one of which consists of two Brandons - come across as pretty adorable to...
White whine, are you listening?
cajunboy: “every party that i’ve ever been to that michael stipe was at has sucked.” -richard blakeley So glad Cajun Boy remembered that amazing line. Blakeley even rolled his eyes while he was saying it. Other White Whines from last night included bemoaning the lack of high speed internet at an upstate campground.
An oldie but goodie.
So what's the word for the cocktail that I have...
From an NYT article on Hamptons residents prepping for the summer:“One of our chefs will say to an anxious host, ‘Go have a dresser.’ “A dresser? “It’s the cocktail people should have while they’re dressing.”
Am I going to hell for laughing at this? I'm going...
Dman emails:McDonald’s Welcomes Parents to Work 2008-04-23: Today, New York Tri-State Area McDonald’s restaurants celebrate the inaugural Take Your Parent to Work Day. A creative twist on the more traditional Take Your Child to Work Day on April 24, Take Your Parent to Work Day was conceived by area McDonald’s to celebrate the supportive parents that help make McDonald’s...
It's like getting those text messages from...
I don’t think people complain about spam because it’s annoying, or cumbersome to delete, or offensive, or bandwidth-consuming. I think it’s really because when you see that little red 1 in your inbox, and you start wondering which ex-boyfriend is emailing you to try to win you back, or which relative is going to ask for your address so they can send you a check, and instead you...
Note to Esquire: For Day 5, you might want to... →
Jolie has been following along with the Esquire “Better Man” series in an open letter to any and all would-be suitors. Freshfaced on a Monday morning, she was all, “Yeah! Bicep curls are easy, guys!” and supporting the suggestion that a man install a pull-up bar on his door frame. I have enjoyed watching her descent into madness as the week has worn on, however. To wit: ...
Dress you up in my love.
Hey ladies! Do you want this dashing gent to find you attractive? Want to rip off those horn rimmed glasses? Well, then take off your pants! That’s the Grey Lady’s Guy Trebay He’s come here to make my day And give dresses the A-OK So don that frock without delay! Sorry about that, I don’t know what came over me. I have a thing for pinstripes. Anyway! Apparently some...
“And lots of, you know, poems,” Ms. Bunting added.
It may be the ultimate collection of paraphernalia of a band known for its fondness of paraphernalia, legal and otherwise.The Grateful Dead, whose songs celebrated personal freedom, American idealism and mind-altering drugs, will donate a cache of their papers, posters and props on Thursday to the University of California, Santa Cruz, which plans to use the musical miscellany as part of a research...
Oy(ster) Vey! →
Brobdingnagian.
Maureen Dowd used that word in her column today (to describe Bill Clinton’s finger wagging). If you remove 11 of its 14 letters, you have its meaning!
“It’s like telling your child you’re going to spank them. You...”
– I’m on a conference call and someone just used that as an analogy for the government intervening with the value of the dollar. WTF!
White Whine turns 200.
whitewhine: Here they are, my favorite whines of the past 199 posts. I want to thank everyone who has been submitting whines and visiting the site every day. It’s really a joy to run. Now where’s my f*cking book deal? Complaint #7 “I just haven’t seen any movie worth watching since ‘The Squid and the Whale.’” - Whine by Me Complaint #50 “What the fu… Turbo Tax is raising their fees again this...
What would I do without these inspirational emails...
OMG—-that outfit! you are turning into a fashionista, which makes me BEYOND excited, happy, & full of joy— because perhaps i am rubbing off on you…. it ALSO make me even more fabulously happy because that means you probably are also rubbing off on me! i should totally buy a stock or something, i bet i will make millions! YAY!!!! i am turning into a finance person!!
"Your head looks like an alpaca." →
"Jimmy, tell Stephan that he's not invited to my...
Former New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas has been banned from having any contact with members of the team as part of his reassignment agreement with team president Donnie Walsh, the New York Daily News reported, citing a team source. Yay! But, noooo: But the agreement does not prohibit Thomas from speaking to Madison Square Garden chairman James Dolan, according to the report.
I hate to spoil the ending for you, but Abraham...
DD: Watched John Adams and cried last night.
KB: I wish I was there to see what made you cry! Did someone die?
DD: John Adams and Thomas Jefferson died on the 4th of July 1826, 50 years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence. They also showed scenes of Monticello. It was so American, Katie, I couldn't hold back the tears.
“Apparently, my ankle bones are stacked like a tower of Jenga blocks that’s about...”
– Adam Sternbergh in NY Mag on going barefoot. Worth it just for the trompel’oeil paintings of shoes on feet: 